I spend all day effortlessly distracted from you
but then night falls
and I think of all the things you made me feel
And how safe I felt in your arms
and I trudge through evening until
I can cocoon myself in bittersweet dreams
Last week I turned up to your party
At 2am, staggering and reeling
As burning liquor coursed through
my veins. And you smiled at me
the way you used to
and you looked in my eyes
for the first time in months
and I felt everything
and nothing all at once.
I seem stuck in this purgatory
and everything leads back to you.
I’m not going backwards but
I’m not going forwards either
and I’m tired of feeling like I’m falling
With no safety net when I look at you.
But regardless, the earth keeps turning
And even though the stars remind me of you
And I can’t help but ache a little
Every night away from you pulls me
Further from your intoxicating orbit
Of take and more take. One day the
Memories of you won’t feel so tangible
And maybe I'll look at the night sky and
See only the night sky.
Do you think I’ll finally be at peace?